Bitch On Wheels

throwing in the towel

2006-11-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

Well, it's been almost a full year since I've blogged...for anyone that read Bitch On Wheels with any regularity in the past, I apologize for the neglect.

My entire life changed, and I simply haven't had the time or desire to blog...and an old computer that felt as if it was being powered by hamsters on a wheel didn't help.

That's it for now, maybe I'll turn up in the blogosphere again, or we'll meet in another life.

'Till then, Happy Trails!

Still Under Construction

2005-11-28T11:21:00.000-08:00

Bitch On Wheels
is currently being re-vamped...

Please check back soon.

2005-11-07T11:44:00.000-08:00

Life is spinning totally out of control, work, personal, other people's problems, etc.
Not sure when I'll be back posting full time - but hopefully soon.

this is BEGGING for Weird Al to do a Cruise/Holmes version...

2005-10-25T11:58:00.000-07:00

She's In Love With The Boy
- Trisha Yearwood

Katie's sittin' on her old front porch
Watchin' the chickens peck the ground
There ain't a whole lot goin' on tonight
In this one horse town

Over yonder comin' up the road in a beat up Chevy truck
Her boyfriend Tommy is layin' on the horn
Splashin' through the mud and the muck

Chorus:
Her Daddy says "He ain't worth a lick,
when it come to brains he got the short end of the stick"
But Katie's young and man she just don't care
She'd follow Tommy anywhere
She's in Love with the boy
She's in Love with the boy
She's in Love with the boy
And even if they have to run away
She's gonna marry that boy someday

Katie and Tommy at the drive in movies
Parked in the very last row
They're too busy holdin' on to one another
To even care about the show

Later on outside the tasty freeze
Tommy slips somethin' on her hand
He said"My highschool ring will have to do,
Till I can buy a wedding band"

Repeat Chorus

Her Daddy's waitin' up till half past twelve
When they come sneaking up the walk
He says "Young lady get on up to your room,
While me and junior have a talk"

Mama breaks in says "Don't lose your temper,
Wasn't very long ago,
When you yourself was just a hay-seed plowboy
Who didn't have a row to hoe

My Daddy said "You wasn't worth a lick,
When it came to brains you got the short end of the stick"
But he was wrong and honey you are too
Katie looks at Tommy like I still look at you"

Shes in Love with the boy
She's in Love with the boy
Whats meant to be will always find a way

She's in love with the boy
She's in Love with the boy
What's meant to be will always find a way
She's gonna marry that boy someday

Who Is Reading...

2005-07-04T15:45:00.000-07:00

...Bitch On Wheels?

Far more people than I ever thought. There are lots of random blogspot click-throughs, but a significant munber of people hang around for awhile and/or come back to read what's new - a big THANK YOU to everyone who has come by to check out my blog!

So far, people in the following locales are reading:
(most recent at the very top of the list, the rest of the list is alphabetized. As for the links... some of them make sense, some are just for fun!)

Palo Alto CA
Camp Pendleton CA
Columbia SC
Manassas VA
Kitchener ONT (Canada)
Huntington WV
Dearborm MI
Germantown TN
Green Lake WI
Davenport FL
Lebach, Saarland GERMANY
Oklahoma City OK
Newark OH
Providence RI
Boston MA
Ft. Worth TX
Orlando FL
Distrito Federal MEXICO
Calgary ALB (Canada)
Asheville NC
Bakersfield CA
Austin TX
Hakensack NJ
Shelton CT
Berkeley CA
Pmpano Beach FL
East Lansing MI
Reston VA
Pensacola FL
Hicksville NY
Trussville AL
Uniontown PA
Boulder CO
Pleasant Hill CA
Eugene OR
Swanton OH
Knoxville TN
Astoria NY
New Haven CT
Rosedale NY
Providence RI
Princeton NJ
Valleystream NY
Abbotsford BC (Canada)
Carmel IN
Oldsmar FL
Yankton SD
New Stanton PA
Plano TX
Melbourne AUSTRALIA
JAMAICA
Samta Monica College (Santa Monica, CA)
Poughkeepse NY
Herndon VA
Tujunga CA
Staten Island NY
Mesa AZ
Naperville IL
Riverhead NY

--------

Abbotsford BC
Abilene TX
Abu Dhabi UAE
Akron PA
Al Kuwayt KUWAIT
Albuquerque NM
Alexandria KY
Aliso Viejo CA
Alta Vista Search
Amarillo TX
Amsterdam NY
Anniston AL
Antwerp BELGIUM
Appleton WI
Aston PA
Athens OH
Atlanta GA
Attiki GREECE
Aukland NEW ZEALAND
Aurora CO
Austin TX
Bellingham WA
Berkeley CA
BERMUDA
Bethlehem PA
Blacksburg VA
blogs.feedster.com - Search
Boise ID
Boston Globe Electronic Publishing
Boston MA
Bothell WA
Boulder CO
Brick NJ
Brighton ENGLAND
Bristol ENGLAND
Bronx NY
Brooklyn NY
Buenos Aires ARGENTINA
Buffalo NY
Buffalo NY
BULGARIA
Cairo EGYPT
CANADA
Carrollton TX
Casper WY
Center Moriches NY
Cerritos Community College
Chantilly VA
Charlottesville VA
Chatanooga TN
Chicago IL
Christianity Today Inc.
Chrysler Motors Corp.
Chula Vista CA
The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints (Provo UT)
Cincinnati OH
Cincinnati OH
Clearwater FL
Columbia MO
Columbia SC
Columbus OH
Como ITALY
Creston IA
Creston IA
Crestview FL
Crystal Lake IL
Dain Rauscher Inc.
Dallas TX
Dallas, TX
Daly City CA
Dean Witter Financial Services
Denver CO
Detroit MI
Dixfield ME
Dublin IRELAND
Dunedin FL
Edmonton ALB (Canada)
El Paso TX
Elk Grove Village NY
Evanston IL
Everett MA
Fairfax VA
Fairmont WV
The Financial Training Company (UK)
Flanders NJ
Flushing NY
Forman Perry Watkins Krutz & Tardy PLLC
Ft. Irwin CA
Ft. Worth TX
Fullerton CA
Gadsden AL
Gainesville FL
Galesburg IL
General Motors Corp.
Google Search
Grants Pass OR
Greenville SC
Gresham OR
Grimsby ONT (Canada)
Halliburton Company (Houston TX)
Haverford PA
Hawthorne CA
Hesperia CA
Hilton Hotel Corp.
Hingham MA
HITS Magazine
Honolulu HI
Houston MO
Houston TX
Hyattsville MD
Indianapolis IN
Inktomi Corp.
Internal Revenue Service
ITALY
Jabalpur INDIA
Jacksonville FL
Jamestown NY
Juneau AS (Is that the correct abbreviation for Alaska???)
Kaplan Educational Center Inc.
Kirkland WA
Kokomo IN
Koukauna WI
Kuala Lumpur MALAYSIA
Lancaster PA
Leicester ENGLAND
Leiden NETHERLANDS
Lexington MA
LG&E Energy
Lincoln NE
Litchfield CO
Livonia MI
London ENGLAND
Lorton VA
Louisville KY
Lowell MA
Lubbock TX
Lulea SWEDEN
Lutheran Theological Seminary
Lynchburg VA
Lynwood WA
Mableton GA
Macon GA
Madison WI
Mahwah NJ
Maidstone ENGLAND
Malaga Spain
Malaga SPAIN
Manassas VA
Manilla PHILLIPPINES
Manlius NY
McAllen TX
Mcallen TX
Mebane NC
Medway MA
Memphis TN
Metter GA
Miami FL
Milano ITALY
Milwaukee WI
Minneapolis MN
Monterey CA
Monticello NY
Montpelier VT
Montreal Quebec
Mt. Laurel NJ
Mukdaharn Province THAILAND
Naples FL
Nashville TV
Naval Research Laboratory
New Hudson MI
New Iberia LA
New York NY
Newton NJ
Noel MO
Noord-holland NETHERLANDS
Norfolk VA
Norwalk CA
Norwich ENGLAND
Oakville ONT (Canada)
Omaha NE
Oneonata AL
Opp AL
Osaka JAPAN
Oslo NORWAY
Ottawa ONT (Canada)
Oxford MS
Oxford PA
Pacific Palisades CA
Palatka FL
Paris FRANCE
The Pennsylvania State University - State College PA
PERU
Philadelphia PA
Phoenix AZ
Pinson AL
Piscataway NJ
Pittsburgh PA
POLAND
Portland OR
PORTUGAL
Prince George BC
Provo UT
Pullman WA
Raleigh NC
Rancho Cordova CA
Rancho Santa Margarita CA
Raytheon Company
Reading PA
Redford MI
Redwood Cirt CA
Rennes FRANCE
Reno NV
Reston VA
Rheinlander WI
Richmond Hill ONT
Riverside CA
Sacramento CA
Salt Lake City UT
San Francisco CA
San Jose CA
San Marino CA
Santa Monica CA
Santiago CHILE
Saskatoon SA (Canada)
Seattle WA
Shawnee Mission KS
Sheffield UK
Shelbyville KY
SINGAPORE
Somerset KY
South Charleston OH
South Ozone Park NY
St. Petersburg FL
Sun City VA
Sunnyvale CA
Sussex WI
Swainsboro GA
SWEDEN
Sydney AUSTRALIA
Sylmar CA
Tacoma WA
Taiwan
Tallinn ESTONIA
Television New Zealand
Texas A&M University
Thusand Oaks CA
Tobyhanna PA
Toledo OH

Medieval Peasants Worked LESS Than You Do!

2005-10-20T12:23:00.000-07:00

October 24th* Is 'Take Back Your Time' Day

TAKE BACK YOUR TIME is a major U.S./Canadian initiative to challenge the epidemic of overwork, over-scheduling and time famine that now threatens our health, our families and relationships, our communities and our environment.

WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?
Are you, or your friends or relatives, working more now but enjoying it less? Does your family's schedule feel like a road race? If so, you're not alone. Millions of Americans are overworked, over-scheduled and just plain stressed out.

*On average, we work nearly nine full weeks (350 hours) LONGER per year than our peers in Western Europe do. October 24th is nine weeks before the end of the calendar year.

CRUSH DU JOUR: Dr. McDreamy

2005-10-17T11:33:00.000-07:00

It's not as if I forgot he existed, he just wasn't at the forefront of my radar for awhile.

I LOVED Ronald Miller, and wished he went to my school...except that he would have wound up with Tami or Vivian or one of the other bitches I couldn't stand, who weren't even as deep as Cindy Mancini.

Randy Bodeck tried so hard to be suave, and all the crazy stuff he did was just to get back to Jen...and how smokin' was Kirstie Alley back in the day?

Here and there over the years, he popped up for a second in bit parts to remind us that he was around (Outbreak, The Emperor's Club, "Will & Grace", Scream 3, Crime and Punishment on TV, etc.), and then made a spectaular return to my awareness in 2002's Sweet Home Alabama. Granted, I think we can all agree that Andrew Hennings was better off without Ms. Smooter, but it was a teriffic "comeback" lead role for him.

... and now we're more than a month into the new (2005) television season, and the best new show of the year is (drum roll please) "Grey's Anatomy".

"Patrick Dempsey plays Dr. Shepherd, the hottest doctor to hit TV since George Clooney sported a Caesar cut." (ABC)

I love the entire cast, and I know it's supposed to be about the interns, but Meredith's (Ellen Pompeo) relationship with Derek (AKA Dr. Derek Shepherd, AKA Dr. McDreamy) is why I'm so tuned into it. It's absolutely a soap opera, and I sit on the couch with my friends screaming "Kiss him!" at the TV on Sunday nights... because we all want to and can't.

The unfortunate news is that after divorcing Rocky Parker in 1994 (she was 27 years his senior - married to an older woman before it was trendy - eat your heart out Mr. Moore), and being single for a bit, he married Jill Fink in 1999 and they have a child together.

Geuss we'll all have to crush on Derek... but he has a wife AND a girlfrieind!

Movie List 2005

2005-07-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

This will be a list of movies I've seen in 2005. Some of them may be old ones I've never seen before, and some will be favorites that I rewatch a lot. If I fel like doing a review, I will, if not, there are plenty of other sites you can check out for good reviews (see below for links). Additionally, we just got a machine that will transfer old VHS to DVD, so I'll be watching a TON of stuff as I transfer...

Bewitched - Not as terrible as I had feared, but it definitely dragged in a few places. The guy that played 'Uncle Arthur' was annoying, Michael Caine was good and Shirley MacLaine stole the movie. She's fabulous! The funniest (and most obvious) plot device that would have made this movie wonderful was completely ignored by the Ephron sisters. My friends and I think that the character of Jack Wyatt should have been played by someone else for the first 20 minutes or so of the film. Then they should have 'switched' Jacks - to Will Farrell - without ANY acknowledgement of it. Would've been hysterical - but maybe they thought the American public is too dumb to have understood.

The Cable Guy - ugh. I knew there was a reason I hadn't ever seen this. Maybe something is missing in the translation when it's edited for cable, but I thought it was horrible. I felt bad for both Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick - they're both so much better than this.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Cinderella Man

Clueless - Classic. The hippest modern Jane Austen adaptation yet.

Connie & Carla - Roomie & I dug this one - too bad the critics are homophobic comedy snobs. "Chin up, boobs out, it's showtime!"

Crash - I live in L.A., this was deep.

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

The Exorcism of Emily Rose - I HATE horror movies, but I promised I'd go with a friend.

Fight Club

French Kiss - An oldie but goodie. Meg Ryan in her pre-weird phase. Kevin Kline is a delight.

Hitch - Better than I expected it to be. The only problem I had with it is that Eva Mendes' character completely changes personaities at the end of the movie - felt hollow.

House of Sand and Fog

The Island

Jersey Girl - It's horrible that the "Bennifer" nonsense managed to screw this fim up so badly. It made me cry (twice), and laugh "George Michael is all ABOUT the ladies. "I Want Your Sex"? Does that sound like he's singing to a GUY?", and hug Kevin Smith (he wrote, directed and edited it), brilliant.

Just Like Heaven - The source material for this is a book I loved called If Only It Were True by Marc Levy. I resisted seeing the flick despite Reese Withersppon and Mark Ruffalo's appeal as a couple, because I was afraid it would not trasnslate well to the big screen. Very rarely do I like a movie better than a book, but they did an excellent job with this one.

Lost - NOT the wildly popular yet confusing TV show, it's a character study. Better than you would imagine, it proves that Dean Cain can actually act. You're more or less on a confusing journey with a man who doesn't know where he's going...and it's not just about georgaphy. It was in a very limited release (only 2 theaters in LA, and the festival circuit), but probably on DVD soon though.

Meet The Fockers - the sequel is better than the 1st movie (IMHO) with the addition of Roz & Bernie Focker, exactly the kind of in-laws I would want!

Million Dollar Baby - Unfortunately this film was ruind for me by too many people too willing to share the entire plot before I had a chance to see it. I'll revisit it at a later date when I can watch by myself and absorb it fully.

Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous

Monster-in-Law - Thought this was gonna suck (not a huge fan of Jennifer Lopez in rom-coms), but Ms. Fonda saved it for me.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith

Must Love Dogs - John Cusack just gets better and better. Let's not even mention how unfair it is that Diane Lane looks as spectacular as she does at her age (gotta find me a younger man)... Cute movie, went with a friend so I don't know how great a "date" film it is. When it's available on DVD, I'll buy it - that's about the highest praise I can give.

Not Another Teen Movie - The working title for this was "Ten Things I Hate About Clueless Road Trips When I Can't Hardly Wait to Be Kissed" which pretty much sums it up. If you have any affection for teen flicks (vintage or recent), this is a fun one to watch. The music is good too - old songs done by new bands, and no one tries too hard. My favorite scene is at the very end - perfect cameo casting.

Spanglish - This one's a little tough to classify. It's part comedy, a little romance, big-time family drama, fish-out-of-water. Whatever - I liked it. And that sandwich...

Vanilla Sky - 2nd viewing. Since I looked up stuff online and knew more of the "secrets" of the story, it was a bit more interesting, but it's still depressing and confusing to me.

Wedding Crashers

White Chicks - another one that was a little funnier than expected and not *quite* as stupid as feared. Don't get me wrong, it was still annoying at times, and the fart jokes were overdone, but there were a few genuine laughs.

Wimbeldon - I really wanted to love this, but I just couldn't. I don't know if it's 'cos tennis isn't my thing, or the odd non-chemistry between Kirsten Dunst and Paul Bettany, but it just did nothing for me.

Only 6,466,463,804 more people to reach...

2005-10-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

Since I started this blog a few months ago, I've had 2,047 unique visitors!

I just did a stat check... there are about 45 people who read Bitch On Wheels almost every day! (I'm flattered, and slightly embarassed that I don't post more regularly, I'll work on it.)

The most traffic, other than people bouncing over here from other blogspot blogs (love the 'Next Blog' button people, you never know what you're gonna find), or the Yay-Yay Sister Friends, has come from people looking for the Sprint/Nextel commercial entitled 'clones'.

The second most frequent visitor count resulted from people searching online for Angela Wolff. She's the singer from Georgia who spent her summer here in L.A. recording her debut album I told you about awhile ago. Go check out 4 of the tracks from the album on her MySpace page, get to know her a little, and watch out for the CD in a few months!

Thanks again to everyone who continues to read and post comments, and support this odd little habit of mine!

is this really a surprise?

2005-10-10T00:23:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, George O'Dowd (AKA Boy George) was arrested in New York for cocaine possession. He's a pop icon! He's a music producer and a DJ in Manhattan. If they're gonna bust him for "a small amount of cocaine", they should really be looking for some of the people I went to high school with...

He's denying the charges, and has flown back to the UK, but he has to go back to court in December. What really kills me is that if he's convicted, not only will he be facing possible jail time, but he may be banned from coming back to America - ever. Oh yeah, and they found the coke whilst investigating a call he made to the cops, reporting a burglary in his apartment. Nice. Don't the NYPD have anything better to do?

when it rains...

2005-10-10T11:46:00.000-07:00

WARNING: I'm going to be a blogging fool over the next few days. I've got at least 30 drafts of stuff I wanted to post about and haven't yet...

Flavor of India - West Hollywood

2005-10-10T11:34:00.000-07:00

Have wanted to try this restaurant for awhile now. Affordable ($12/person - soft drink included) brunch buffett on the weekends. The decor is a bit tired, but the servers are good. Food is plentiful and good, if not great. Chicken Tikka Masala (one of my faves) and Aloo Gobi were particularly tatsy. I would have enjoyed a few more vegeatble choices on the buffett, and the rice pudding ran out and was never replenished. Unfortunately, not as good as the build up in my mind, but I may go back to try the regular menu some day.

so insignificant, yet...

2005-10-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

They changed the FIJI water bottles.
Gone is the tranquil waterfall...instead it's just a leaf.
Damn.
Ridiculous to spend $8/gal. on water and bitch about the price of gas at $3.25 I guess...

What I’m reading

2005-07-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

14 July 2005: Currently on a Brit Chick Lit Kick!

The Other Woman – Jane Green: Liked it, didn’t love it. I’ll let it age on the shelf for a couple of months and re-read. If I was a newlywed, or engaged, maybe it would be funnier (it's about mothers-in-law).
Bad Heir Day – Wendy Holden: Hysterically funny and/or sad depending on your station in life. Must read for anyone who has ever been an assistant and/or nanny to the rich and/or famous.
Fame Game – Claudia Pattison: My boss picked this up in London a few months ago and thinks I’ll like it. I need something to get into while banished from my space due to termite tenting… I’ll let you know.

The Mountain Meadows Massacre by Juanita Brooks

I also have a subscription with Audible.com and download books, speeches, comedy etc. to listen on my iPod during my commute. Right now I’m enjoying Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card.

While you're at it, check out my complete 2005 Reading List.

Reading List 2005

2005-07-04T00:15:00.000-07:00

About Grace by Anthony Doerr
Anger by Thich Nhat Hanh
The Assistants: A Novel by Robin Lynn Williams
Bad Heir Day by Wendy Holden
The Buddha of Suburbia by Hanif Kureishi
Chore Whore: Adventures of a Celebrity Personal Assistant by Heather H. Howard
CHOW magazine
Fame Game by Claudia Pattison
Good In Bed by Jennifer Weiner
Hello Darling, Are You Working? by Rupert Everett
In Her Shoes: A Novel by Jennifer Weiner
The Mountain Meadows Massacre by Juanita Brooks
The Other Woman by Jane Green
Restoring Grace by Katie Fforde
Screenplay By Disney by Jason Surrell
The Second Assistant: A Tale from the Bottom of the Hollywood Ladder by Clare Naylor & Mimi Hare

I also have a subscription with Audible.com and download books, speeches, comedy etc. to listen on my iPod during my commute. Right now I’m enjoying Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card.

2005-10-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

The beta fish died over the weekend.
Lasted longer than most betas are supposed to.
Got a wonderful Kohler funeral.
Is it wrong to get another one just so the dog has something to watch?
Swear to G-d, he loved to sit on the couch and watch it swim around.
Am I weird for even considering it?

see what happens when you don't plan?

2005-10-03T11:34:00.000-07:00

For the first time in a LONG time I didn't sleep from where I live in the San Fernando Valley to Disneyland. Usually I'm passed out in the car while my best friend (the driver) sings along with the radio and yells at fellow drivers (she's less violent than I am behind the wheel, but she has a very low tolerance for stupidity). She usally wakes me as we enter the Mickey & Friends parking structure, so the cast member in the ticket booth can laugh at my messed up hair and groggy expression. The trade off for my extra morning nap is that I have to drive home at the end of the day in weekend lookey-loo traffic.

We have Premium passes to both Disneyland and Califoria Adventure. Basically we can go to either park (or both), any day of the year. We park on the property for free (which is nice if there's a show @ the Downtown Disney House of Blues) and we get a discount off (almost) everything we buy on the property as well - souvenirs, food, soft drinks, etc. We go to Anaheim a lot. At least once a month we drag each other off the couches on a weekend afternoon and at least walk around singing "Hi Ho!" for a couple hours. The fact that we can drink (at California Adventure and at Downtown Disney), shop, watch a movie if we want, etc. doesn't hurt.

Saturday morning, we've grabbed a decent parking spot, ate breakfast on the road to avoid the tourist crunch on Main Street, and are boarding the tram. I must have been oblivious. Roomie looks at me and asks in a barely audible whisper, "Is this a *special* weekend at Disneyland?" I wasn't sure what she's talking about, I looked around for a second, and I swear to god, a lightbulb appeard over my head. The first weekend of every October is an "unofficial", "non-Disney-sponsored" event: Gay Days at Disneyland.

Anyone who knows me, knows exactly how I feel about the gay community at large, so I'm not going to get into it here. Gay Days actually makes the park a little more fun. Everyone involved is in a mood to have a good time, there are thousands of red T-shirts of all descriptions (There is an 'Official' Gay Days Anaheim T-shirt, but most people just wear red. My favorite this year reads simply "Hi. You'll do."), and a real sense of community...

...then I look down and realize what I chose to wear. Yep, a red T-shirt. Now, it didn't have a catchy slogan or a rainbow on it, and frankly I don't care what people think. Yes, Roomie and I have been best-friends for 20 years. Yes, we have lived together since we both moved to LA 12 years ago. Yes, we may grow old together. Yes, I use "we". But she's like my sister. I love her, I just don't *love* her...

I felt like a traitor, like I should have to give back my fag hag card, but I actually thought about buying another T-shirt. I just didn't want to misrepresent myself, or be a "poser", then I realized how ridiculous I was being, and we headed into the "happiest place on earth".

Anyway, the day was as fun as expected, although we cut it a bit short (too crowded) and decided to go to a movie (Just Like Heaven - I highly reccommend - a good chick flick), and we both got looked up and down a couple of times! Thanks Ladies, nice to know someone thinks I'm cute...

to clear something up

2005-09-29T17:36:00.000-07:00

a friend sent me an e-mail asking why he didn't know I was married in 2003.

what?!?!?

apparently he had forgotten to add the 2005 in the URL for my blog, and got this site instead.

not me.

I repeat, NOT my blog.

other than that, I'd like to apologize to anyone that reads my blog with any regularity. my life's spining relly fast right now. I'll get back on track soon, i swear.

it's a bird, it's a plane, it's your boyfriend's long-lost son...

2005-09-26T08:38:00.000-07:00

It took Teri Hatcher's Lois Lane three full seasons on Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman to figure out that a pair of wire-frames was all that stood between her and true happiness. If I quote from the series, you'll know what a dork I am... oh wait, most of you who read this already know what a dork I am...

Lois: If you wanna kill Superman, I don't know why you're going to Smallville or 1966.
Tempus: She doesn't know yet. Oh, this is good. This is really good. Um, Lois, did you know that, in the future, you're revered at the same level as Superman? Why there are books about you, statues, an interactive game. You're even a breakfast cereal.
Lois: Really?
Tempus: Yes. But, as much as everybody loves you, there is one question that keeps coming up: "How dumb was she?" Here, I'll show you what I mean. Look (puts glasses on), I'm Clark Kent. (Takes glasses off) No, I'm Superman. (Puts glasses on) Mild-mannered reporter. (Takes glasses off) Superhero. Hello! Duh! Clark Kent is Superman. Ha, ha, ha. Well, that was worth the whole trip. To actually meet the most galactically stupid woman who ever lived.

And that's not even where she actually realized it for herself... anyway, my point is that Marc Cherry didn't leave Susan hanging as long... it only took 1 season and about 1/2 an episode for her to realize the Mike/Dierdre/Dana/Zach/Mary Alice/Angela/Paul Young secret. And she figured it out all by herself! OK, she tripped out a little bit and fled, but it'll work itself out. Kinda glad I don't live on Wisteria Lane, too much to keep track of. Although if we could get Jamie Denton into some tights...

awwwww...........ewwwww

2005-09-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

Christopher & Demetria finally tied the knot. After 2 years of dating, and her kids calling him MOD ("My Other Dad"), the deed was (maybe) done in a Kabbalah ceremony at a private residence on Saturday. Wonder if he has the same curfuw Rumer does? They hang out with the same crowd...

In celebration, the Nuart Theater in West L.A. is showing Harold & Maude on Friday at midnight.

brilliant idea (if I do say so myself)

2005-09-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

There should be a new communication system developed for drivers to 'speak' to each other on the roads. Originally I thought it would be as simple as a standard phone type object (or intercom for the hands-free approach) in every vehicle, the number for which would be the license plate number. However... people act like maniacs on the road (I myself have been found guilty of this and made to attend a 'road rage' class) and you would just create more problems, people would scream at each other. The insurance companies might like this option though...

So what I'm suggesting is kinda like the OnStar system. From any cel or car phone, you would have a button dedicated to a call center. When they answered the phone they would know who you are, so it would cut down on 'prank' calls. You could then give them the state/licenseplate #/color or description and what message you wanted to send to the other driver. Obviously they're not going to send your messages of "You stupid bitch! Stop putting on mascara, it's not helping anyway!" (although that piece of advice may indeed help the traffic flow). I'm thinking more along the lines of "Please tell her that her gas cap is off" or "Please let him know that his driver's side rear tire is dangerously low, almost flat" or even "She's really cute. Tell her the guy in the green Camry behind her would like her to call him. My number is (818) 555-7883" 2 of these 3 scenarios happened this morning on the way to work. In the interest of helping, I think someone ought to get on the ball with this concept.

The Apprentice version 2.0

2005-09-22T14:03:00.000-07:00

I swore I wasn't going to get sucked into The Apprentice: Martha Stwewart.
As usual, the demi-gods of reality TV prevailed, and I'm hooked.

The person who annoyed me the most was the first to be 'dismissed' by Martha - YEA! The 2nd most annoying person went to the 'conference room' too - wonder if they'll be gone next week? There are enough whiners and know-it-alls to make it fun to watch. Unfortunaetly no real favorites to win yet, but it's early days.

One of Martha's henchmen is Charles Koppelman (he was a big-wig in the music industry, and is now Martha's biz dev and planning guy for MSLO), and he knows one of the candidateses. He acknowledges that Bethenny was one of his daughter's friends and he met her "once 15 years ago". Hmmmmm... the story Bethenny tells the other candidates back in the loft is that she lived with his daughter in Paris, AND she dated his son. They tried to make it very clear that Ms. Bethenny would not be receiving special treatment from Mr. Koppelman, but I wonder...

The first task was really interesting - the teams had to re-vamp a classic fairy tale and write & illustrate a children's book for Random House. The winning book was Jack & The Beanstalk and is actually available for purchase.

The aprentices' living space is a *bit* odd, it's very industrial/modern/loft-like, but with all Martha-style furnishings and accessories (most of which are probably available at K-Mart), and it's very neutral in a cool dove grey that seems to be daughter Alexis' signature color. I guess having them live in the MSLO is agood idea. Apparently Martha doesn't sleep a great deal, so if she's wandering the halls mulling over how to make her next billion, maybe they can help.

Matha doesn't use The Donald's classic "You're fired!" with a goofy hand gesture. She simply tells them "You just don't fit in", and then she composes a lovely hand-written farewell note.

If I didn't like it so much, I'd probably lose my lunch.

got the following via e-mail this afternoon

2005-09-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

BITCHOLOGY

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch.
When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch.
When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.
Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart.
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won't allow anyone to step on me.
When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch.
The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish.
It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am, and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be.
I am outspoken, opinionated and determined.
I want what I want, and there is nothing wrong with that!
So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won't succeed.
And if that makes me a bitch, so be it.
I embrace the title and am proud to bear it.

Which B.I.T.C.H are you?

2005-09-21T13:34:00.000-07:00

Babe In Total Control of Herself

Bold Intelligent Talented Charming Hell of a woman

Beautiful Individual That Can Handle anything

2002-05-13T18:11:00.000-07:00

ok - so i'm on my way home from a co-worker's memorial service friday night (thanks for the bad directions, brad), and i call my mom. my uncle died last tuesday. since we've cut off this particular branch of the family tree, no one would have let us know, so one of my mom's friends saw his obit in the local paper (back home in florida) and called her. there are some things that won't ever be forgiven or forgotten, but it's strange to think that until a few years ago, he was part of my life. he taught me how to eat a lobster.